What do you want to be when you grow up? 

This is a question we’ve all been asked numerous times throughout our childhood by our parents, teachers, coaches, neighbors, and a host of others. From kindergarten to our sophomore year of high school, we blurt out any answer we could imagine. 

We really believed we could be anything: an astronaut, painter, rapper, president, master chef, you name it. Nothing was out of reach. We adhered to such cliches as “reach for the stars,” “follow your dreams,” and “the sky’s the limit,” believing we could achieve our heart’s desire. 

But as we got older and closer to graduating high school and entering “the real world,” our dreams were gradually and systematically discouraged by the same people who encouraged us to go after our dreams no matter the obstacles only a few years prior.

Instead of being emboldened to become the next Nelson Mandela, Ryan Coogler, or Serena Williams, we are advised not to dream so big and to be more realistic. We are told that our big dreams are only reserved for the “lucky ones.”

The Lies We’re Told About Success

Rather than “waste” our time focusing on our dreams, we are brainwashed by the people we share our intimate visions with to focus on getting good grades so we can graduate, go to college, and choose a career that pays well and has excellent benefits. It’s been beaten into our heads for years that the only way for us to support ourselves is to become an accountant, lawyer, engineer, nurse, or get a government job—that pretty much anything outside of these professions is throwing our lives away.

Now, don’t get me wrong. All of these occupations play significant roles in our society. Our communities need bank tellers, doctors, and city workers. However, just because our family, friends, and the majority of the public chose that path doesn’t mean it’s right for us. 

Only we can decide what’s best for our lives. 

Too many of us spend decades going down a predetermined path because we take advice from people we love and trust because we believe they know what’s best for us. And most of the time, they truly believe they’re guiding us toward a better future, but it’s never too late to make a U-turn and go in a different direction.

Why not go for our dreams while we have the chance? While we’re still breathing? Why do we continue to fall for the lies and misinformation society feeds us about pursuing our life goals, no matter how unrealistic they seem to everyone else? Why do we continue to settle for having a “real job”? 

There’s no pride in not taking a risk. 

There’s no glory in choosing the easy path laid out for generations. 

Our only valid reward is creating our own path and leading by example. We never know how our actions will inspire others to do the same. And if we never take that leap, we’ll never know. Do we want to spend our lives constantly replaying in the back of our minds what could have been? Or do we want to put in the work to find out?

Everything we need to make our dreams a reality is already in us. Our dreams may seem out of reach, but they wouldn’t be given to you if you didn’t possess the power to fulfill them. 

Have you ever wondered why you keep having this recurring dream in the first place? 

The vision that’s been tugging away at your heart for years is what you’ve been called to do. This is the mission that you have been assigned to complete. And until you do, it will continue to haunt you. This is why many of us feel unfulfilled at our current jobs and in our lives in general. We do what we’ve been told to do, not doing what we’ve been called to do, despite having all the resources we need to go after the life we truly want. 

We have access to a smartphone, which provides millions of people with access to the internet. We have Google, YouTube, and libraries available to educate ourselves on our industries and perfect our crafts. There are meetups, networking events, and creative spaces not to mention universities and programs that will propel us forward to the next level. 

So what’s stopping us?

Why Fear Holds Us Back

Seeking approval from others, that’s what. 

We desperately need the validation of others rather than seeking it from ourselves. We’d instead put our destiny in someone else’s hands and get their approval than put it in our own hands and deal with their judgment. 

This is the reason why we weren’t happy. We’re constantly dealing with the regret of letting others decide what’s best for our lives. 

At some point, we must take responsibility for where we are now and figure out what steps we need to take to get where we want to be. The moment we give away power over our lives, we’re confined to the limited expectations they have laid out for us. We’ll only fly as high as they allow. If we want to achieve our dreams, we must stop asking for permission and validation and just go for it.

There’s a reason why the people around us are constantly trying to talk us out of our dreams. 

They never had the guts to go after their own. 

They don’t believe it’s possible. 

They’ve been taught and conditioned to settle for mediocrity. 

But we must refuse to allow their fears to be ours. If they’re unwilling to take the risk, then so be it. It has nothing to do with us and the dreams we have for our lives. 

We all have a decision to make: Do we decide to settle or pursue our dreams? 

That’s really all it comes down to. 

How many of our peers chose to give up on their dreams and goals for a steady paycheck every two weeks? As dreamers and doers, we know that having a job is crucial to sustaining us in today’s society, but nothing more. 

We dreamers are seeking something more. We yearn to be a part of something bigger that will change our lives and impact our community. We find fulfillment in creating and sharing our passions with others instead of spending most of our days staring at the walls in our cubicles, desperately waiting for the week to end, just to do it all again come Monday morning.

However, this is the life we signed up for when we let everyone else choose our path. Trust me, I was headed down this same road for 20 years until I was fired from a fancy tech job at age 37 (I’ll go down that rabbit hole on another blog). 

However, the firing changed the trajectory of my life and pushed me to challenge the status quo and pursue my dreams. I realized that the status quo will always be there for us to return to at any time and pick up right where we left off. 

But we’ll never know if we don’t take the risk and follow our dreams.

A Life Worth Living

At the end of the day, it’s up to us to decide whether or not having a fancy title at a world-renowned tech company with cool office perks, great benefits, plush team-building events, “unlimited” PTO, “fun” happy hours, and the pat on the back from our friends and family, is worth giving up on your dreams. 

I don’t know about you, but I know my decision.